Bullying, Meekness, and What God's Been Teaching Me
Something I’ve learned a lot about recently (and also wrote a little about) is meekness.
I know! What a fun topic. Meekness, despite some erroneous beliefs is not simpering, weak, silence. Meekness is strength under control. Meekness is humility when others are throwing offense at you. Meekness is what Jesus had when he was under trial.
Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend against injustice. Thus, meekness toward evil people means knowing God is permitting the injuries they inflict, that He is using them to purify His elect, and that He will deliver His elect in His time. Gentleness or meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest. It stems from trust in God's goodness and control over the situation. The gentle person is not occupied with self at all. This is a work of the Holy Spirit, not of the human will. - The Blue Letter Bible
Meekness is what we’re called to have when we are treated unfairly and face injustice. Now, I am not talking about injustice as it pertains to racism, human trafficking, or any of those obvious human rights issues that so desperately need to be fought against. I’m talking about personal injustice. You know, when people wrong us.
Like I mentioned, earlier this year I was in a Bible study where we read James and listened along with Jen Wilkin’s study. It was a brilliant study and I highly recommend to all genders, but I digress. In her study, Jen clarifies the difference between holy anger towards injustice and when we are called to be meek. It’s okay to want justice for marginalized people groups and it is right to advocate for them. We see that all over scripture. (Isaiah 1:17, Proverbs 31:8-9, Jeremiah 22:3, etc). But, when it comes to injustice against us, individually, we’re told to turn the other cheek, follow Jesus’ model and choose meekness.
A great example of this in our current cultural climate is Pastor Mike Todd from Transformation Church in Oklahoma. While addressing racial reconciliation he explained that the Church needs to stand up against injustice but while explaining his own heart and emotions as a Black man, he acknowledged his need to allow God to transform him. And I think his example is a great one. Because I’ve never faced the kinds of injustice he has and will have to face and while that breaks my heart, that someone has to endure that kind of prejudice and racism, it also reminds me that if he can choose grace and love and meekness - so can I.
Meekness isn’t something only Jesus possessed. It’s not one of those toss away spiritual gifts because we don’t understand it and it has negative connotations (weakness and exploitation of women). No, meekness is what we’re called to when we face oppression. We can all be meek and it’s a good thing.
But if I’m honest, it’s probably the Fruit of the Spirit I struggle with the most. I used to say it was patience or self-control but since meekness is essentially asking me to combine those two, in my mind it’s nearly unattainable. But praise the Lord, it’s not up to me. Literally, left to my own devices, I would be the worst. It’s only by God’s grace that I’m even the person I am. He faithfully sanctifies and redeems us. He transforms us by renewing our minds and some day, blessedly, we’ll be renewed completely and get to worship Him forever in eternity and what an absolute glorious day that will be.
However, we’re in that awkward waiting period. That period of now and not yet. We’re in the ultimate season of advent. So how to work through this? How do you choose meekness when people are bullying you, slandering your name, or refusing to acknowledge your existence? Because, we’re human. These things hurt.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about some difficult situations I’ve been facing and some bullying I’ve experienced, and she reminded me that our enemy isn’t flesh and blood.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. - Ephesians 6:12
Which means, the people that are hurting you, aren’t actually your enemy. Sure, they’re sinning. But you don’t need to fight them or fight back. Because they aren’t the source of the problem. The Enemy is. So in moments of unkindness when all you want to do is give a witty but stinging response, remember who you’re actually up against. Because, when you remember that it’s the Enemy, it’s a lot easier to stop yourself and say, quite literally, “Not today, Satan!” I don’t have to respond negatively. Because to do that would actually just continue this vicious cycle that really just fuels our Enemy. Instead, we get to say. Nope. This person who’s hurting me, this person is a child of God. So whether they know it or not, whether they are acting like it or not, and God is reflected in them in a unique way and He delights in them and calls them loved. Instead of taking out my hurt on this person, I’m going direct it towards the one who deserves it. I’m going to pray against Satan’s power in their life, my life, and on our world. I’m going to pray for the restoration power of God to cover the situation and for Him to pour out love and grace in extraordinary ways. I’m going to choose meekness and ask for forgiveness for them, because they might not know what they do. Because, really, that’s what we see modeled for us on the cross.
If following Jesus, means to deny ourselves and die on that cross with Christ (Galatians 2:20) then that applies to all aspects our lives. Even when we’re being bullied and facing injustice. Even when we’re oppressed.
Hot tip: I’m very bad at this. This is a new journey and a new area of learning. But it is something we can grow in and I reckon, the more remember who our actual enemy is and call out to God, we’ll find an increase of meekness in our lives. The fruit will grow and we will be transformed.
So let’s do it! Let’s be meek! I promise it’s not as bad as it sounds!
And worse case scenario, you can just commit to praying for them. Nothing really breaks resentment, anger, etc. towards someone as praying blessing over them.