All I Want
I’m going to start this with a disclaimer: I first learned about Ash Wednesday when I was in college. I’d grown up in church, was one of the few of my college friends that still attended church regularly, and I still had absolutely zero ideas what was going on and why everyone had dirt on their faces. Why? Because I grew up in churches that didn’t emphasize liturgy. So when I come to the season of Lent – I’m honestly a little confused.
My limited understanding of Lent includes the act of giving up various things so you can draw closer to God in the season approaching Easter. I understanding fasting in order to draw closer to God. I understand that when you feel the pain in your stomach you are physically reminded to pray. I even understand the societal and health reasons of cutting social media or certain foods from your diet but I don’t really see what they have to do with God or Easter.
See – it’s been my experience that often times we make choices under the pretense of doing it for the Lord but really it’s for us. I’ve seen people sell products to help women reach their best “single life” for Jesus – with topics covering how to date well and how to find your purpose while you wait for a man. I’ve seen them help young women learn to be more productive and exercise and have time for your Bible and chase your dreams – all for God.
Let’s be clear: NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE WRONG. Being healthy, productive, chasing goals, dating well, dressing nice, etc. – none of these are wrong – and they do matter to God. I mean – I don’t think He cares too much if you’re stylish so much as He cares that you’re modest – but I think He does care that we fuel our bodies well and that we work toward the dreams He’s instilled in us and I think He definitely wants us to date well – but in comparison to knowing Him – they are worthless.
So when I come to a season of Lent that is typically marked by giving up something – I can’t help but wonder how helpful the giving up of that particular thing is really going to draw you closer to God. You not eating sugar isn’t going to change your relationship with God – if it does, please let me know! I’d love to hear that testimony! But if Lent is important, which it is, why don’t we change the way we observe it?
Lent is a sacred season much like Advent is. Lent is a time to remember and reflect on God’s perfect redemptive plan. It’s a time to remember what God’s done for us. In the weeks leading up to Easter – we look at the Gospel and meditate on truth. We remember what God has done. We have hope for the future. We let the Spirit work in our lives. Just like Advent points to the greatest gift we’ll ever receive, Lent points to the fulfillment of that gift. It’s somber and heavy but it’s also liberating and life-changing.
Because Jesus didn’t just die with all our sin and shame. He didn’t just spare us. He defeated death. He gave us life. He set us free – not just from eternal separation from Him – but from the power of sin and death even on earth. He gave us the Holy Spirit to empower us and help us live in that freedom.
So during this Lent season – I want to focus on the idea that God brings freedom and that Jesus, really does change everything.
So if you’re with me – buckle up for a ride. Because it might be convicting. It might be hard. But I hope it’s going to be good. Because I really believe that when we put God in His rightful place in the world and in our hearts – things change. Worries, fear, anxiety, depression, hopes, dreams, desires, passions, and whatever else consumes your mind – they all fall into their rightful places as we lift Him up.
So week one? I want to start with this foundational idea that Jesus is everything. Now I can’t make this true for you. I can’t change your hearts so that He really is all you crave – only the Holy Spirit can do that. I can give you the most hermeneutically sound argument as to why Jesus should be your heart’s desire and how in Him we find life – but unless the Holy Spirit convicts your heart – it won’t matter. You can’t will yourself into this heart change but you can ask for it. And before you feel guilty – because, by the way, you’re human – this kind of heart change happens with time and practice. I wasn’t born being fully satisfied with God. There are days where I want and want and want everything and more that isn’t Him. But in a season of Lent that is typically marked by giving up something to prioritize Him, what if we just gave up, metaphorically, the idea that we find our satisfaction in anything besides God. What if we laid down the idea that a husband, new job, children, notoriety, Instagram followers, abs, or whatever else has captured your heart will satisfy and instead gave up those ideas for Him? Would that change our lives? I think so. So if you’re with me, Lent 2019: I am giving up the idea that my life will find meaning, satisfaction, or purpose outside of glorifying and loving God. That in this year, no matter my external situations, my life has no meaning outside of Christ and He is all I desire.
I’d encourage you this week to take some time and be still and listen to God. See what He has to say about this. And if you need some songs to help, here’s a list of songs that have helped cultivate this attitude in my life.
Restless and I Shall Not Want by Audrey Assad.