It’s that time of year again, the Becca reflects on 2020 and her 28th year of life, because as I’ve written before, having a birthday near the end of the calendar year is a natural reflection marker. And because I’m about to enter the last year of my twenties which honestly makes me gag a little, I’m going to share 29 things I learned in my twenties and next year I’ll focus on 30 things I’m looking forward to in my thirties! 

Reflect and dream, that’s the name of the game.

1. I do get good gifts. After years of believing the lie that good things only happen to other people, I learned that is not true and I do get wonderful gifts too!

2. God does not always answer my prayers with a “no or not yet” --  He often gives a hearty yes! Prime examples would be praying for a roommate and Christian friend in college and meeting the amazing Nicole N. literally a week later and of course, praying that Adrian would indeed be my husband and actually getting there. That one took four years but it was worth it!

3. I am, unfortunately, a leader. It’s a gift and one I don’t necessarily relish -- it’s hard work, ya’ll, but Jonah it as much as I want, it just is the way I was made and has been recognized not only in a church setting but also secularly. 

4. Family is more than just your nuclear family and I am so incredibly thankful for that. 

5. Dreams often come true -- they may just look a little different than you expected and that does not negate the magic. 

6. Healing takes time, tenacity, and tenderness. Don’t run away from it. Embrace it. 

7. Loss is a normal part of life. Learning to lament is important. 

8. In a world that idolizes hustle and image; embrace slower rhythms and authenticity.  

9. Merging families is harder than it looks. Be patient.  

10. Sex is great but God is still greater, don’t buy the lie that it’s the be all and end all.  

11. Love isn’t a fancy or a feeling. It is Jesus, dying on a cross, for you.  

12. There are hills worth dying on and none of them have anything to do with politics or pop culture, choose your battles wisely.  

13. Adventure is always a good idea.  

14. Read, listen, and consume stories of people who are different from you. It’s a great step toward compassion.  

15. You are capable of far more than you could ever imagine. Surround yourself with people who call out new things in you or encourage the old.  

16. It is okay to not be okay. Seriously. Be honest, first and foremost.  

17. You were made a little more passionately than other people. You are bold and rebellious and a little unpredictable. That does not make you dangerous. 

18. You are worthy. Other people may try to tell you that you are not. They may try to make you invisible or pretend you don’t exist. You do exist and you matter. Turn up Lizzo loudly and ignore the haters.  

19. Be teachable and humble, you are not infallible.  

20. True friends are hard to come by, don’t worry about making temporary ones lifers, embrace them for what they are and be thankful.  

21. Gratitude is important.  

22. Cultivate joy.  

23. Your dreams are allowed to change and grow. That doesn't make you inauthentic or a hypocrite. It makes you a human.  

24. Your husband is also allowed to be right.  

25. You can be right and wrong at the same time. Life is not so black and white.  

26. Jesus really is the only one who will satisfy you. Stop self-medicating and run to the one who brings life abundant.  

27. Never stop learning - the world is magical. 

28. Marry your best friend, it will alleviate your introvert fears. 

29. Anne Shirley Blythe will always be relevant. 

2020 has been a doozy and in some ways my 28th year of life mirrors my 18th. I’ve hit some high highs and some low lows. Thankfully though, I’ve seen that there is always a way through.  And as horrid as 18 was, 19 was pretty fabulous so I have high hopes for 29.