You know how in school, you were taught that if a teacher repeats a concept or a definition to a word, it means you should remember it and it may come up in a test later? Recently, I’ve found that God can work quite similarly. You see, I’ve been having issues loving people and loving them well.

Growing up I always unabashedly said that I hated people. I know, it’s not a good look. It wasn’t individual people necessarily, but more like humankind. Why did I hate them? Honestly, I’m not sure what 12 year old Becca would have said but while 27 year old Becca is vastly different (praise Jesus!) she totally struggles with this too. Only now, I hate specific people or groupings of people, which admittedly is probably much worse.

Hate is a strong word and it’s probably not accurate (I probably just really really really dislike people) but accurate or not - I’m not loving them the way I was created and called to love them. And that is what God in His infinite love and mercy has been highlighting to me recently.

See the Bible tells us that Christians are to be known by the love that they have for one another. And I was having a hard time loving other Christians.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - John 13:34-35.

I know. Of all the people I should abundantly be able to love, it was the Christians I was struggling with. For a while.

The reasons are many, like injuries to personal pride, disappointment in individuals, straight up disrespect and unforgiveness, and also discontentment and frustration with the general lack of grace and love towards non-Christians or minority groups.

I’m not discrediting my feelings. I can be an imperfect human who feels hurt, anger, frustration, annoyance, lack of patience, etc. but when I act on those feelings and allow them to grow bitterness and isolation - that’s when we have a problem.

I’m a Gryffindor, which means I’m passionate. It’s great when my passion is directed toward God and His glory and the good of others but it’s a real slippery slope when I let my passion influence my negative thoughts and actions. See under the guise of defending truth or defending the weak I can get mean and hateful and unkind.

I know - none of these are great looks but I’m just being honest - that’s what happens sometimes. But God - because all good things come from a “but God” clause.

But God in His goodness has been highlighting this sin to me and slowly weeding out these horrid parts of my heart.

Yes, it frustrates me when Christians are unloving, unkind, judgemental, etc. to others. It breaks my heart to see us be white-washed tombs full of rules, regulations, and legalism. But I’m not better than that. So the things that frustrate me and break my heart are also things I engage in on a daily basis.

While I’m over here being indignant that Christians on social media care more about the burning of Notre Dame than the people in Paris who don’t know Jesus, I’m also actively extending judgement to them. I’m actively allowing frustration and pride create imaginary wedges between me and my friends because “no one is doing anything for God” and friends, that is bad. I have been horrible…but God. God has been reminding me of love - His love.

 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

Love is everything I am not and instead everything He is.

I can’t love people of my own volition. It’s impossible. I can’t love people by reading my Bible every day or praying or attending church. I can only love people when I allow the power of the Holy Spirit to transform me. I can only love people the way God wants me to - by dying to myself and allowing Him to love through me.

None of this is easy. It’s hard. But friends, dying to self only causes momentary pain. Yes, it’s a daily process, but the reward we reap is joy and peace. The reward we reap is glorifying God and doing good to others.

Jesus has called us to be radically different than culture. He didn’t just mean the world. He calls us to be radically different than even religious culture. Let us not be white-washed tombs who judge more than we love. Let us not be clanging gongs or a resounding noise.

Let the words we speak and the actions we take be those full of love - even to those we have deemed unworthy. Because, friends - none of us are worthy and that’s the beauty of the Gospel. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Not because we’ve earned or deserve it but because He loves us that much. So let’s be those who live in that love, revel in it daily and also extend it to others.

Practically, for me: that means judging Christians less. It means extending forgiveness and grace where there has been much hurt. It means praying before I “preach” and it means laying down my life so God may be glorified and others may be blessed.

Beth Moore is an evangelist and Bible teacher who’s recently come under fire from another Christian. What he said was unkind and unloving. And lots of people had a lot to say. But Beth Moore, because she’s allowed the Spirit to change her heart, tweeted this.

Hey, y’all. Let’s cool it on the slander toward JMac et al. Doesn’t honor God. Let’s move on. - @BethMooreLPM

That kind of grace and love have never been my response. But that is the response I want to have. Let’s encourage one another in this. Let’s take our reaction emotions to God and allow Him to change our hearts.

Photo by Jacalyn Beales on Unsplash