I love new months, new quarters, new seasons, new years. I love turning the page of a planner or a calendar and looking blank spots of endless possibilities. Today, I got to set up September in my Day Designer and it was almost as fun as watching Missouri destroy Tennessee-Martin to kickoff the 2018 season. 

 I also started the Bible in 90 Days reading plan because why not? My Bible reading needed a refocus and a revamp. But I kind of wanted to try and focus my reading on something that has permeated my life recently and that's the question, "What does the Bible actually say about women?" Because a lot of people have a lot of ideas and I wanted to know. More specifically, I wanted to see how God interacts with women in the Bible and how those interactions show us His heart towards women. 

Eve is the obvious first choice but as I read through Genesis 1-16, I actually was struck by a different character: Hagar. 

To make a complicated story short - Hagar is Sarah's slave and because Sarah doesn't trust God's promise, she convinces Abraham to sleep with Hagar in order to provide an heir and therefore fulfill God's promise. Surprise, surprise - when humans try to fulfill God's promises on our own - we inevitably make things worse - I'm looking at you Adam & Eve. So Hagar gets pregnant and then it says she "despises Sarah" which is the Hebrew word "qālal" which means to blaspheme, treat with contempt, curse, etc. Which means either Hagar was lording her pregnancy over Sarah which is how some people take it or maybe she just wasn't super into being pregnant and also performing slave duties - either way - she wasn't kind to Sarah and Abraham lets Sarah treat Hagar how she chooses. Sarah also doesn't choose kindness and is so horrible, Hagar runs away. While she's gone and angel comes to her and tells her to go back to Sarah and submit to her. He then promises that her descendants will be too numerous to count. Hagar goes back but before she does she says this in verse 13, "She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" 

"You are the God who sees me." 

How freaking powerful is that? 

The God of the universe. The God who is before all things and above all things. The God who is the author and sustainer of all life. HE SEES HAGAR. 

Often times when I've heard Hagar preached about or rather mentioned very briefly in a preach about Abraham and Sarah - she's not necessarily praised. She isn't given a shout-out. But here she is humbly submitting to the will of God and recognizing that while He's powerful and mighty and totally deserving of her submission - He also sees her. Hagar gets it. She gets it in ways I wish I did. She was a slave, mistreated and alone. She willfully obeyed God's command to go home and submit to this woman who was so bad she ran away to begin with - because He would bless her and she trusted that. 

As a woman and the youngest of 8, I have often felt unseen. Recently, this lie of being invisible or unheard has been eating away at me. It's a common lie that shows up in a multitude of ways:
"I could run away and no one would care."
"Why speak up? No one want to listen."
"My opinions don't matter."
"No one cares."
"If I was a guy - things would be different." 

But see the thing is - it's all lies. Because just like the God of the universe saw Hagar - He sees me. He sees me when I'm crying myself to sleep at night or yell praying in the car. He sees me when I'm crippled with fear and worry over the people I love. He sees me when more than anything I want to share something but aren't given a voice. He sees me always. And more than that - He sees me and He cares. 

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." - Matthew 10:29-31

We're worth more than sparrows. Which may seem obvious to you - but sometimes it doesn't feel that way to me. Sometimes I feel less than sparrows. But those are lies. And we can defeat the lies by remembering Matthew 10:29-31 and by remembering Hagar. 

Our God is the God who sees.